Tọlá Belva

Hello and welcome! I’m Aisha, a writer, poet, creative, and Cybersecurity Analyst, sharing my journey as I navigate the beauty of life. I’m so happy you’re here in this little corner of the internet where I get to be my authentic self. I have two amazing kids and I live in Texas. I’ve also written under the pen name Tola Belva and go by Mrs. Jay in some circles.

As a millennial, I’ve always felt a special connection to simpler times, to the nostalgia of a world that felt a bit slower and more deliberate. I grew up reading personal blogs, which felt like getting a letter from a close friend. The kind of letter where they shared their life’s little moments, big dreams, and everything in between. There was something so pure about it—like you were entering someone’s world and having a direct conversation with them. Now, everything has shifted to social platforms like Instagram, YouTube, X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, and Facebook, but I still find myself missing the intimacy of those old-school blogs. They weren’t about impressing anyone—they were just about sharing real stories, real thoughts, and real connections. You could feel the heart of the writer in every post. I think that’s what I miss most.

Magazines and newspapers were also a big part of my childhood. The smell of fresh print, the crinkling sound of flipping through pages—there’s a tactile experience with physical media that the digital world can never quite replicate. I’ll never forget those moments as a kid, walking into offices and finding magazines casually laid out on tables. It was like a treasure chest just waiting for me to explore. There were always topics that fascinated me, from health tips to the latest fashion trends. I’d sift through those pages, dreaming of a world of endless possibilities. One of the biggest moments was discovering Reese Witherspoon in a magazine for the first time. Her story sparked something in me that still lingers today—a curiosity about her life, her journey, and the idea that anyone can build their dream life with enough passion. It turns out Reese is not only a talented actress but also a huge advocate for books. Her book club has introduced countless people to new literary worlds, which makes her even more inspiring to me as someone who believes in the transformative power of reading.

Speaking of dreams, there was a time in my life when I pictured myself as a fashion icon. I used to immerse myself in fashion magazines, reading about designers like Vera Wang, Valentino, and Chanel, imagining myself in that world. I’d cut out paper dress designs and pass them on to my aunties, asking them to make my creations come to life. It was more than a hobby; it felt like an extension of who I was—a dreamer, an artist, someone who found beauty in every detail. As I look back now, I see how those moments of creativity helped shape who I am today, and how that fascination with fashion and design never truly left me.

And of course, who could forget the luxury perfume samples tucked between the pages of those magazines? I’ll always remember how, if you rubbed the sample on your skin or your clothes, the fragrance would last for hours. There was a sense of glamour that came with those little, unexpected spritzes of luxury. I still remember the scent of those perfumes—sweet, floral, and oh-so-elegant. Even now, whenever I smell a fragrance that reminds me of those days, it takes me right back to those carefree moments.

Those were the simpler times, weren’t they? There were no adult responsibilities—no bills, no deadlines, no rush. We simply lived in the moment. I remember climbing trees with my friends, running through the neighborhood, and plucking fruit from trees like we had all the time in the world. We would laugh and play for hours, with no screens to distract us, no constant buzz of notifications or demands for our attention. The world felt full of magic and endless possibilities.

And those quiet, reflective nights—when we’d sit outside by moonlight, listening to the older generation tell stories—hold a special place in my heart. Those stories, passed down from one generation to the next, carried with them a kind of wisdom that shaped the way I see the world today. The lessons of resilience, love, and the importance of family, shared by moonlight, remain with me in ways that words can’t fully capture.

As a child, I was introverted and found solace in words. Writing became my safe space, my outlet for expressing all the things I couldn’t say out loud. I kept diaries where I documented everything—my first heartbreak, my dreams, my passions, and even my sadness. Every detail, every emotion, became part of the story I was telling. Those journals are still some of my most cherished possessions today. They were where I first learned the power of writing—to heal, to reflect, and to connect with others. I had a particular love for English and literature throughout school, always drawn to how words could create worlds and bring ideas to life.

I grew up in the era of Barney and Friends—and the song “I love you, you love me” still resonates with me, reminding me of childhood simplicity. The gentle lessons of friendship and love from the purple dinosaur stayed with me for years. I also spent hours watching Pinky and the Brain, always captivated by their grand schemes for world domination (even though they came so close to achieving it every time!). And who could forget the unforgettable drama of the soap opera, Days of Our Lives, or the intense love stories in the telenovela When You Are Mine, where characters like Paloma and Diego pulled you into their emotional whirlwind? Then there was Passions, the telenovela with the iconic theme song by Jane French, full of twists and turns that kept me glued to the screen. The American sitcom, A Different World was another favorite, shaping my ideas of resilience and friendship, and don’t even get me started on Kids Say the Darndest Things—where kids would speak their truths, leaving us all laughing and reflecting on life’s unfiltered joy. Oh, and how could I forget Teletubbies? I remember the swirl dance, Tinky Winky performed with such joy, making me smile with the simple, carefree fun of it all.

My love for nature and flowers has always been central to my life. There’s something about the simplicity of a blooming flower, the way it embodies both grace and strength resonates deeply with me. I find peace in nature—whether it’s watching butterflies flutter around or strolling through a garden. Butterflies, especially, have become a symbol for me, a reminder of transformation, freedom, and the beauty of letting go and growing into something new.

I’m also a passionate book collector. My shelves are filled with a range of books—from classics to contemporary reads—and each one holds a unique place in my heart. The vibrant colors of book covers fascinate me, and I love how each cover tells its own story before you even turn the first page. For me, books are more than just stories; they’re an escape. The act of reading is a way for me to travel, explore new ideas, and immerse myself in different worlds. It’s my sanctuary—a place where I can find comfort, reflection, and endless learning.

While my heart has always leaned towards creativity, my journey took an uncharted turn when I immersed myself in the world of Cybersecurity— a field that captivates me with its complexity and its profound impact on the digital world. As a Cybersecurity Analyst, I work to protect systems and data from threats, ensuring that both personal and professional stories remain secure in an increasingly interconnected space. It’s not just about solving problems; it’s about safeguarding an environment where innovation, creativity, and self-expression can thrive freely. The curiosity that once led me to explore the pages of magazines and dive into new ideas now drives my passion for cybersecurity, as I continue to find ways to protect what truly matters.

I’ve always had a deep love for libraries too. The feeling of walking through aisles of books, discovering new worlds, and the smell of pages old and new—it’s something I’ve always cherished. In a world where everything is online, the library still feels like a sacred place for me. It’s where I go to dive into research, to escape, and to keep feeding that curiosity that drives me.

Now, let’s talk about the music of the ’90s! The rhythm, the culture— it all takes me back to a time when the era was bursting with raw energy and emotion. From Destiny’s Child, Ne-Yo, and Sisqo to Missy Elliott, J-Lo, Ja Rule, DMX, and so many others, that era gave us more than just beats—it gave us anthems. And I’m a fan girl of Queen Bee herself—Beyoncé! Shout-out to Destiny’s Child, for real! Whether it was dancing to the hits in my room or singing along with my friends, 90’s hip-hop was my soundtrack, a reflection of passion, struggle, and empowerment. I also remember the smooth vibes of Joe, the harmonies of Westlife, the iconic hits of Backstreet Boys, and the soulful sound of Craig David. Those artists and their music shaped so many of my favorite moments. Those songs are still my go-to, and they continue to inspire me today, much like the world around me does.

Through it all—the fashion dreams, the love for books, the memories of carefree days spent climbing trees, and even those little perfume-scented moments in magazines—every single detail has shaped who I am today. I’ve always been someone who finds beauty in the simple things. Whether it’s a quiet moment with a book, a handwritten note, or the memory of a favorite perfume, it’s those small, quiet joys that continue to fascinate me.

I’ve also always kept my circle small. I’ve never been one to seek out a crowd. There’s something so powerful about surrounding yourself with only the people who truly lift you up, who understand your journey, and who allow you to be your most authentic self. For me, it’s about creating spaces—whether through writing, art, or simply being with the people I care about—that allow me to explore, express, and grow.

Thank you for being here and sharing this space with me. Whether you stumbled upon this blog by accident or intentionally sought it out, I hope it brings you the same peace, inspiration, and sense of connection that it brings to me. Life may be fast-paced now, but there’s something so beautiful about pausing for a moment, reflecting on the little things, and creating something meaningful. Together, let’s create something beautiful.

With love and light,
Tola Belva