Tọlá Belva

Some relationships, like seasons, come to an end—and that’s okay. There are people I once held close, whose presence I cherished, but our paths have naturally diverged. The connection we shared, though meaningful, has shifted into a memory. This realization isn’t born of bitterness but from understanding that not all relationships are meant to last. Growth often requires letting go, especially when a connection no longer supports who I am or nurtures my well-being.

Confidence didn’t come naturally to me; it’s something I’ve earned through effort and persistence. It’s been forged in the fire of trial and error—falling, getting back up, and learning each time. Every failure became a stepping stone, each attempt a chance to grow stronger. Building confidence is less about perfection and more about resilience.

Setting boundaries, however, was a lesson I resisted for years. I worried that drawing lines would make me seem cold or unkind. But I’ve come to understand that boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about inviting myself in. They’re a declaration that my mental and emotional health matter, and that preserving them is not selfish but necessary.

Boundaries are a form of self-respect. They protect my energy, allowing me to stay true to myself and avoid the slow erosion that comes with overextending for others. I’ve learned to notice when a relationship no longer feels balanced or uplifting. And while stepping back can feel bittersweet, it’s often the healthiest choice—for both me and the other person. Without boundaries, I risk burnout, resentment, and losing my sense of self.

Of course, not everyone will understand or accept my boundaries. Some might feel hurt, especially if they’ve come to expect my constant availability. But boundaries aren’t about pleasing others—they’re about honoring myself. They’re a quiet yet powerful way of saying, “I matter, too.”

That doesn’t mean the process is easy. There are still days when guilt or doubt creeps in, when I question a decision or wonder if I’m being too harsh. But I remind myself that saying “no” to what drains me is saying “yes” to what restores me. Prioritizing my well-being isn’t selfish—it’s essential.

Boundaries have taught me the true meaning of self-love. They’ve allowed me to cultivate relationships built on respect and authenticity. They’ve freed me to show up fully, without fear of losing myself to people-pleasing or unrealistic expectations. Most importantly, they’ve reminded me that my needs and feelings are just as valid as anyone else’s.

Some may not understand or agree with my boundaries, and that’s okay. Their acceptance isn’t my goal—peace is. Protecting my energy and choosing myself is not an act of rejection but of love. And that, I’ve learned, is one of the greatest acts of strength I can offer myself.